Friday, 16 January 2009

The "de-conversion" story

I spent 18 years of my life living in the ultra-religious yet ultra-divided country of Northern Ireland. My family went to a Presbyterian Church, but not very often. It certainly was not something that we did every sunday. I think we went one Christmas, then my parents realized that it was stupid to expect two young children to get up for 11am and to choose going to church over opening their presents. I can remember that I never thought about whether or not God actually exists. For me, it was just, a fact. God was there. I never even knew there was a debate on the matter. Church was really just a very boring place to go to and it never served any purpose for me, spiritually or socially. I always had issues with the Bible, and I think that these issues were the basis for my later criticisms.

It started with me questioning things like, dinosaurs in the Bible, or how Noah could fit all those animals on a boat, or how Jonah survived inside a whale. I started to grow aware of the fact that there was no substantive evidence for God. We moved house when I was 11 and I have never been inside a church since except for weddings and funerals. When I went to secondary school (ages 12-18 for those who don't know), I started to notice religion a lot more. We had "prayers" every morning. I can remember not bowing my head in prayer, and being told by teachers that I had to bow my head. Verses from the Bible were read by Prefects and then the Headmaster would elaborate on these verses, often referring to the fact that Jesus' ministry was like a school. It was pretentious to say the least. I remember meeting my first Muslim in first year (12/13 years old). His name was Ahmed (or Aki for short). He was one of my best friends at the time. When Ramadan came round I found it fascinating. He left though a year later.

I quickly became very interested in Religious Education (or Religious Studies), and excelled at it. It was when I was about 14 that I started to realize large holes and flaws in the Bible. It was also around this age that I got very interested in reading and shortly after I read the God Delusion. I also watched comedians and it was Bill Hicks and George Carlin's bits on religion that genuinely made me think. I started to look up Bible verses and found some of the truly horrible things in it. I think one of the first issues I had was the flood. How could a loving God justify killing every human being on the planet? Of course soon I found the many more issues with the flood story.

I think it was when I was about 16 when I definitively considered myself an Atheist. I started to watch YouTube videos on the matter and it wasn't long before I was coming to terms with my own beliefs and morals. For a long time I wanted to make videos on YouTube on the matter, but I have since come to the conclusion that it is probably not the best way to get my voice heard.

So here I am today, an 18 year-old free thinker who managed to break away from the religious shackles that are placed on you as a child in Northern Ireland.

I do not subscribe to any religious belief, and I love it. I was able to disrupt the status quo in a religious school by being the first Atheist to win the RE prize. I won it the year after that as well. I was also the first person to get an A in A-Level RE (that's 18 years-old) for 6 years in the school, an accolade I am very proud of. The teachers didn't like how I was an Atheist, and the best student in the class. I maintain that it was because I was on the outside looking in, and everyone else was on the inside looking out.

One of my good friends, who was very religious, said to me a few months before school was finishing that he was not looking forward to it. His reason? He knew that if he didn't convert everyone before school finished, then they would go to Hell.

Yeah, I know. He also thinks that the "If you study a well-made banana" argument is excellent.

Sadly for him, he chose to follow Jesus, whereas I chose to follow reason. I don't really pity him though, he's old enough to know better.

Anyway, I'd best be off. I haven't killed any babies today, let alone brutally raped them.

It's difficult to keep up this sinful Atheist life that I lead!

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